Why does punishment fail

So if punishment is ineffective and even harmful, why do parents punish their kids? Neither reason ultimately serves the supposed purpose of punishment: to help children learn. To help us gain a deeper understanding of punishment and what to do instead, I spoke with child psychologist Tamara Soles from The Secure Child in Montreal.

TS: The need that some parents have to control their children is what fuels a lot of misbehavior in children. Children show challenging behaviors for a lot of reasons: to get attention, to test limits and boundaries, to assert their autonomy, and because they are incapable of regulating their emotions and behavior. Often the more rigid and controlling a parent is, the less flexible a child becomes. Power struggles ensue and nothing good ever comes from a power struggle.

TS: Interventions such as time-out can harm the parent-child relationship. Time-out often leaves parents and children engaging in a power struggle that all too often further escalates the situation and can leave a child feeling shamed or bad. TS: Actually, discipline at its core is about teaching. JS: I know sometimes punishment does seem to work. My own mother has told me repeatedly that she punished me because nothing else worked. Children who are punished are more likely to make poor choices later on when not in the presence of their parents because their behavioral choices have been based on the avoidance of punishment rather than sound moral direction.

Moreover, punishment can isolate children and make them feel badly about themselves, which can itself become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Children may begin to behave in ways that give them negative attention simply because they believe that is the best or only way they can get it. But real natural consequences do help children learn. If your child spills something, they should clean it up. JS: What do you recommend parents do instead of punishing to discipline their children or to help them learn as you say?

TS: Discipline should look like teaching. On the contrary, discipline involves setting limits, but the method by which you set those limits will look different. Sometimes punishment leaves children feeling more resentful bitter and anger as opposed to having learned correct behaviors. They are left focusing on the hurt they feel and not the lesson they could learn. Actually, through punishment children can learn to stop the behavior but not the reason why the behavior should be stopped.

Nairne and Wade and Tavris maintain that, punishment only suppresses behavior; it does not teach someone how to act appropriately. Therefore, it is possible for the student to repeat misbehaving. Punishing students with the belief of improving his or her performance is a wrong option. This is because student will not improve; instead they will continue to dislike the subject and the teacher of that particular subject. Gazzaniga and Cicognani insist that, a child who receives compliments for being a good student is likely to show better academic performance than one who is punished for doing poorly.

According to Kim , children who receive corporal punishment usually have lower intellectual power than those who do not receive corporal punishment. Likewise, the use of corporal punishment may lead into alcohol and drug abuse and general psychological maladjustment in those to whom it is applied.

In such context, the children may face the problem of loosing memory and they may generally not remember what is taught by their parents and teachers. Positively, corporal punishment can help students to develop their responsibility as well s sociality if it is done with student enough comprehensive of their faults Myers, Sometimes it can be looked as an effective prevention and reformer of misbehavior in the classroom and in the school because student who has received corporal punishment will try to avoid misbehaving, learn good behavior and will ultimately develop responsibilities.

In this aspect, punishment appears to be an effective prevention because the physical pain involved with paddling for example, is enough to cause students to stop and think about their own behavior before acting. Nevertheless, physical punishment seems to be a good method for keeping discipline in the classroom, particularly to the classrooms with many students.

For this reason, immediate and strong corporal punishment appears to be a useful technique to keep discipline effective in the classroom. Since corporal punishment appear to be ineffective, dangerous and unacceptable method of discipline control and maintenance, it is better to have an alternative to it.

In order to ensure that maximum and positive behavior is attained in the school and in homes, parents and teachers should look at these alternatives;. One among the possible alternative way to punishment is taking away privileges. This kind of punishment could for example be not watching a television particularly for a student who fails or score low grade because of much concentration in watching various television programs instead of learning.

Sometimes this can involve restricting the children going to visit friends or not receiving pocket money if at all these things seem to be the causative agent for his or her failure in the whole process of learning. By doing so, the child can change behavior by putting much time in studying so as to perform well. Parents and students should be carefully involved in decision making about school issues. These issues include the development and the implementation of educational goals and disciplinary rules along with positive behavioral support where required.

There should be a critical and adequate training for teachers to help them effectively maintain classroom control without resorting to violent or aggressive techniques. This can be accomplished through providing teachers both pre-service and in-service training with the ability to employ behavior management techniques that promote social classroom interaction among students, this would also promote a positive learning environment for those student.

Kim maintains that, one of the best alternative ways to punishment is the provision of in-service programs on communication, classroom management, understanding behavior and individual differences and alternative ways for dealing with misbehavior instead of using physical punishment. It is also important for teachers to use behavior modification technique to enhance good behavior instead of using punishment Nairne, Behavior modification involves the use of positive reinforcement techniques that reward appropriate behavior and developing non-violent technique.

It also includes teacher observations of the child, extinguishing inappropriate behavior and using reward system to encourage adaptive behavior in the classroom. Westen insists that, if teachers recommend well-behaved students and give them some prize or rewards, more students will try to become a model person in school. In this aspect, schools and teachers should be encouraged to develop positive behavior support which has proven effective in reducing the need for harsh discipline while supporting a safe and productive learning environment rather than relying on harsh and threatening disciplinary tactics.

Schools should have an ample supply of counselors in school to help teachers provide their problem students with access to another caring adult as they can promote self management as well as anger and impulse control especially for younger children Gershoff, This alternative may reduce the use of physical punishment in schools and will increase better school learning environment for all students. Thus, students will like school, teachers and their subject they teach.

Drop out also can be reduced when schools is provided with counselors to help teachers and students solve their problems and stress, which in one way or another may enforce them to employ punishment for their students. Time out is also an appropriate technique which can be used by teachers to maintain discipline in the classroom instead of employing corporal punishment.

Time out is the method in which the child is removed from the situation and left to think about the consequences of the offending behavior. Winn points out three major types of time out; the first form is the non exclusion time out students are allowed to observe on going activities but not to participate , the second form is exclusion time out excluding students from participation in and observation of on-going classroom activities without removing the student from the classroom and the third from is isolation the student is placed in a separate area for a predetermined period of time.

The last form is mostly used by the majority primary and secondary school teachers in Tanzania as a technique of maintaining disciplines to their students. To be effective, timeout must be consistent and should not last too long. A teacher should also try to give few warning about time out before actually instituting it and follow it up of a brief explanation of the misbehavior and of the desired behavior.

However, Bootzin et al. Punishment can be replaced through the use of positive reinforcement. Psychologists insist that, punishment by itself is not an effective way to control or eliminate behavior and they recommend children classroom behavior to be enhanced through reinforcement.

In Tanzanian educational institutions, students who show good performance are rewarded according to the school or institution by-laws. However, in some schools, those students who perform poorly in various examinations quizzes and tests are subjected to physical punishment.

This is because the school leaders have the notion that physical punishment would enable students exerting effort to learn for the sake of avoiding them. Cicognani asserts that, when teachers discipline children in a positive, non violent ways, children learn that conflict can be resolved without undermining this respect. Generally punishment in schools seems to be ineffective, dangerous and unacceptable method of controlling and maintaining behavior and discipline as it brings negative rather than positive consequences in the whole process of teaching and learning.

Since punishment tend to de-humanize children and make them feel screed, ashamed and worthless during learning and teaching process, it is better to be eliminated in both homes and schools so s to enhance positive learning.

Nevertheless, more effort needs to be made to educate parents and teachers on the implication of corporal punishment as well as the alternatives that are available to them. It is important to note that, good school discipline depend not only on non-violent responses to poor student behavior, but on skilled and properly trained teachers.

Arif, M. Journal of Theory and Practice in Education 3 2 , Bernstein, D. Essentials for psychology 2nd ed. Boston; Houghton Mifflin Company. Bootzin, R. New York: McGraw-Hill publishers. Cicognani, L. Coon ,D. London: Wadsworth. Feldman, R. Essentials of Understanding Psychology 6th Ed.

Gazzaniga, M. Psychological Science: Mind Brain and Behavior. New York: W. W Norton and Company. Gershoff, E.

Psychological Bulletin, 4 , Curthrow, J. Kim, S. Corporal Punishment in School. A review of the pros and cons retrieved in April 19th, from.

Martin, G. ET AL. Psychology 3rd Ed. Needhma Heights: Person Education Limited. Mason, M. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications. The Psychology of Being Human. New York: Canfield Press. Connecting with our children is so very important and after reading this I understand now how important it is to stay connected when we want them to learn from their mistakes.

I totally agree with this. In fact, I feel like when I try to punish my daughter, it backfires and she acts out even more. However, when I remain calm and get down to her level, as you say, she seems to really listen to me and respond.

Great post! Really good strategies and suggestions, I find teaching with love helps so much more than a time out. Or is that my old world perception!? It really is a form of punishment. The differentiation would be that they can earn their lost privilege back so there is a process and an outcome whereas other forms of punishment are simply punitive.

Sometimes it is difficult not to lash out, especially when you are trying to help your other little ones. But, it is so important to slow down and try to understand why your child is acting out. I feel this way too. I can only imagine with four little ones. I try my best but I lose my cool too. Great suggestions!!! I need to send this to my hubby lol. He was raised completely opposite as me where he got strict punishments for just about everything in life and sometimes he tries to punish my daughter for the littlest of things.

I feel Talking to kids and explaining why those actions were wrong works so much better than just yelling and punishing without a full explanation…. My husband and I were raised differently so it has been a challenge to guide him toward the world of empathetic parenting.

Your email address will not be published. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Terms Conditions Privacy Policy. And when we punish children, we typically see the behaviour stop. When we achieve our desired outcome temporarily, all seems well.

The effect on our children is much different than our perceptions, though. Why research says punishment is ineffective When we punish children, we typically see the behaviour stop 1. We achieved our desired outcome temporarily so all seems well. A final note Though the days where children are slammed against walls are largely behind us, there remains a prevalent belief that spanking and other punishments are effective long-term.

How to Discipline a Child: Science says this is the best approach. Scolding undermines effective parenting.